10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

MySAR for 30th June

10 Things Successful People Never Do Again We all make misakes but the people who thrive from their mistakes are successful ones. ~De. Henry cloud "Never go back." What does that mean? From observations of successful people, clinical psychologist and author of Never Go  Back : 10 Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books June 2014), Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered certain "awakenings" that people have - in life and in business - that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same. In short, they got it. "Years ago, a bad business decision of mine led to an interesting discussion with my mentor,"Dr. Cloud says. "I had learned a valuable lesson the hard way, and he reassured me: "The good thing is once you learn that lesson, you never go back. You never do it again." "I wondered, what are the key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things, which propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? I began to study these awakenings, researching them over the years." Although life and business have many lessons to teach us, Dr Cloud observed 10 "doorways" of learning that high performers go through, never to return again. Successful people never again ..... 1. Return to what hasn't not worked. Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different. 2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, "Why am I doing this? Am i suited for it ? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?" If the answer is not to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed. 3. Try to change another person. When  you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well. 4. Believe they can please everyone. Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people. 5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful. time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit. Living out this principle is one of the most fundamental differences between successful and unsuccessful people, both personally and professionally. 6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless. It's natural for us to be drawn to things and people that appear "incredible." We love excellence and should always be looking for it. We should pursue people who are great at what they do, employees who are high performers, dates who are exceptional people, friends who have stellar character, and companies that excel. But when someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause. 7. Take their eyes off the big picture. We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story. Winners remember that - each and every day. 8. Neglect to do due diligence. No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves. 9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationship and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are. 10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success. The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who are on the inside. Research validates that. And our internal lives largely contribute to producing many of our external circumstances. And, the converse is true: people who are still trying to find success in various areas of life can almost always point to one or more of these patterns as a reason they are repeating the same mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes...even the most successful people out there. But, what achievers do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain - their own and the pain of others. A good thing to remember is this : pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable. I like to say. "We don't need new ways to fail....the old ones are working just fine..!" Our task, in business and in life, is to observe what they are, and never go back to doing them again........ लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती, कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है, चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है। मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है, चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है। आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती, कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है, जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है। मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में, बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में। मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती, कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो, क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो। जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम, संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम। कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती, कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। --हरिवंशराय बच्चन  Great poem by Harivanshrai Bachchan Lehron se dar kar nauka paar nahi hoti himmat karne waalon ki haar nahi hoti Nanhi cheenti jab daana lekar chalti hai chadhti deewaron par sau baar fisalti hai Mann ka vishwas ragon mein saahas banta hai chadh kar girna, gir kar chadhna na akharta hai Akhir uski mehnat bekar nahi hoti koshish karne waalon ki haar nahi hoti… Dubkiyan sindhu mein gota khor lagaata hai ja ja kar khaali haath laut aata hai Milte na sahaj hi moti paani mein badta doogna utsaah issi hairaani mein Mutthi uski khaali har baar nahi hoti himmat karne waalon ki haar nahi hoti… Asafalta ek chunauti hai sweekar karo kya kami reh gayi dekho aur sudhaar karo Jab tak na safal ho neend chain ki tyago tum sangharshon ka maidaan chhodh mat bhago tum Kuch kiye bina he jai jai kaar nahi hoti himmat karne waalon ki haar nahi ho English translation: The boat that qualms the waves Never gets across The mind that dreads and dares Has never been at loss The tiny ant, when it carries the grain Lays it up into the heights of the wall Falls slipping a hundred times, Just as it tries again The faith in the mind Stirs courage in the nerves It soars and slips, then slips and soars again Until its efforts have not been in vain The diver who scrounges deep into the oceans Comes bare in his fist a number of times It is not so painless Eachtime he delves to hit upon a pearl Someday, when out of those deep seas he whirls And in surprise, that his efforts have brought Glad, for his fist is not empty everytime And in him that seamless effort herald a cheery chime O’ accept the failures that cross your way They are just the challenging mile-stones And build from right here, where you fell Until all the shortcomings cease, And you soar in success Burn restful sleeps in the sacrificial pyres Until tireless struggles brought smiles of joy Oh! Do not run away from the battlefields For triumph always yields such joy Just after relentless endeavours……….

Pillars of success...

MySAR for 21st April

Pillars of Success..... A young boy often looked up at the sky, fearing that the sky might fall any time, as it had no pillars to hold it. He ran into the forest, with the hope, that the trees would act as pillars to the sky and save him from being crushed if it fell. Time : It is the continuing sequence of events occurring in apparently irreversible succession from the pastthrough the present to the future. A measure of the durations and frequencies of events and the intervals between them. Keeps from everything happening at once.Humans follow it with clocks and calendars.  Time represented through change. Hope : A positive feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen in accordance with what you imagine it to be. It is a Beliefs that what happens will happen for good. In the forest, he came across a monk and asked him, ‘Are you not afraid that the sky may fall as there are no pillars supporting the sky?’ The monk replied, ‘There are pillars supporting the sky, but you need special eyes to see them.’ ‘How do I possess those special eyes?’ asked the boy. The monk’s suggestion to the boy was to go to the village and arrogantly demand food. If villagers gave food with a difference, then he was to come and report to the monk. The boy went to many houses, arrogantly seeking food. Most people refused to oblige him. Surprisingly, in one house, a woman came and begged his pardon for the delay in giving him food as she was feeding her baby.  When this incident was reported to the monk, he said, ‘This act of goodness of the woman, is one of the pillars supporting the sky.’ Every good act is a pillar propping the sky. It is not visible but it exists. If life comes from such belief, then you get strength from an unknown source. Life : The period of existence, duration, usefulness, or popularity of something. A specific phase of earthly existence. The period from birth to death. Spiritual existence transcending physical death. The sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual. The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. The sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, especially metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment. Is goodness the only way of life? Many people are good but they are not successful... has goodness failed? Goodness should be the substratum on which life is built. Being good is important, but being good alone does not lead to success. To be successful, one should also be smart. People think that only working hard is going to make them successful. This is a false belief. It is not only working hard but also working smart that make us successful. Goodness gives us spiritual strength, but one has to be smart in life... another variable that one needs to develop. Success : Described as being happy with what you’re doing, constantly growing as an individual, and contributing to other people in meaningful ways. Feeling of happiness with no regrets, no qualms or grudges. For some, it could be accomplishment of an aim, attainment of fame, wealth, or social status but that happiness is short lived. Ideally, it is directly proportional to how happy you are.  Siritual : To be spiritual means to have an interest in all matters related to the spirit, God, well being, humaneness. How do we develop smartness in life? Being in the company of smart people one learns to develop smartness in life. One of the qualities of successful people is being skilful with others. They are good in their people skills. They know how to motivate people and get motivated by them in turn. They know the art of accepting people and gracefully rejecting them when required, to present their point of view and not ‘poke’ their point of view. Successful people know how and when to praise others. They also know the art of sandwiching criticism between praises. They have a commitment to excel and treat failures as fertilizers to success. They are not like oak trees in flowerpots...!